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no. 01 A small thing

The Phone-dex.

Twelve phones, one card each. A pixel sprite of the handset, what kind of phone it is, four honest stats, and where to find one. It's the catalogue page from the Argos book, kept short. If you'd like the full write-up, the link inside each card takes you to the proper review.

Stats are on a 0-to-100 scale, pulled from published UK and US tech reviews, manufacturer spec sheets, and the public framing of UK parent campaigns like Smartphone Free Childhood and Wait Until 8th. We're not phone reviewers; we don't lab-test. The full list of who we read is on editorial standards. Battery is real-world battery as the reviewers reported it. Style is how the phone reads in the pocket and on the playground. Distraction-resistance is how hard it tries to keep you off it, structurally. Pocketability is weight, edge, and whether it slides into a school trouser pocket without sticking out.

  1. KP-001 from £79

    Nokia 3210 (2024)

    HMD

    • Hardware-led
    • Iconic

    The 2024 reissue, kept honest. Calls, texts, Snake, FM radio, three days of battery. The cool-factor matters in week one. The lack of apps matters in year one.

    Battery
    92
    Style
    82
    Distraction-resistance
    95
    Pocketability
    88

    Found in

    • Amazon UK
  2. KP-002 from £35

    Nokia 8210 4G

    HMD

    • Hardware-led
    • Budget

    The candybar reissue, cheaper than the 3210. A 2.8 inch screen, MP3 player, FM radio and Snake, for around £35. No app store, no social media.

    Battery
    90
    Style
    70
    Distraction-resistance
    95
    Pocketability
    86

    Found in

    • Amazon UK
  3. KP-003 from £40

    Nokia 235 4G

    HMD

    • Hardware-led
    • Budget

    Forty pounds and three weeks of standby battery. Calls, texts, almost nothing else. Lose it on a school trip and the world does not end.

    Battery
    98
    Style
    55
    Distraction-resistance
    96
    Pocketability
    90

    Found in

    • Amazon UK
  4. KP-004 from £55

    Nokia 2660 Flip

    HMD

    • Flip
    • Younger child

    A 4G flip that snaps shut to end a call. Big buttons, a 2.8 inch screen, FM radio, classic games, an SOS key that calls your emergency contacts in turn. The sturdy one for a younger child, and a quiet favourite with grandparents.

    Battery
    90
    Style
    62
    Distraction-resistance
    94
    Pocketability
    85

    Found in

    • Amazon UK
  5. KP-005 from £45

    Nokia 225 4G

    HMD

    • Budget
    • Calls + texts

    The 2024 refresh of the cheap 4G basic, now with USB-C charging. A 2.4 inch screen, a basic camera, FM radio and Snake. Around £45, no app store.

    Battery
    88
    Style
    52
    Distraction-resistance
    96
    Pocketability
    88

    Found in

    • Amazon UK
  6. KP-006 from £25

    Nokia 110 4G

    HMD

    • Budget
    • Calls + texts

    Around £25, the cheapest Nokia with a camera, a torch and Bluetooth. Calls, texts, FM radio, weeks of standby. A token browser, unusable on the small screen by design.

    Battery
    96
    Style
    46
    Distraction-resistance
    95
    Pocketability
    92

    Found in

    • Amazon UK
  7. KP-007 from £24

    Nokia 105 4G

    HMD

    • Budget
    • Calls + texts

    Around £24 and up to 22 days on standby. Calls, texts, FM radio, no camera, no internet, no app store. The honest floor of the market, the cheapest 4G phone we'd actually put in a child's hand.

    Battery
    99
    Style
    45
    Distraction-resistance
    98
    Pocketability
    92

    Found in

    • Amazon UK
  8. KP-008 from £99

    HMD Barbie Phone

    HMD

    • Flip
    • Novelty

    A pink 4G flip that says Hi Barbie and runs no apps. Calls, texts, FM radio, a beach edition of Snake. A digital-detox novelty that is a real phone underneath. £99.

    Battery
    84
    Style
    78
    Distraction-resistance
    95
    Pocketability
    82

    Found in

    • HMD UK
  9. KP-009 from £279

    Pinwheel Plus

    Pinwheel

    • Whitelist
    • Subscription

    Smartphone shape, parent-controlled launcher, app whitelist not blocklist. The honest middle path when school or a medical app genuinely needs a smartphone.

    Battery
    50
    Style
    65
    Distraction-resistance
    75
    Pocketability
    70

    Found in

    • Pinwheel UK
  10. KP-010 from £259

    Punkt MP02

    Punkt

    • Minimalist
    • Design-led

    A design-led 4G minimalist phone with a keypad, Signal-based messaging and a hotspot. No apps, no camera. Around £259. The keypad answer to the Light Phone.

    Battery
    75
    Style
    92
    Distraction-resistance
    96
    Pocketability
    84

    Found in

    • Punkt direct
  11. KP-011 from £399

    Light Phone III

    Light

    • E-ink
    • Design-led

    An E-ink slab. Maps, calls, texts, music, podcasts. Tools, not apps. Ships from the US with the customs wait that implies. Quiet on purpose.

    Battery
    70
    Style
    95
    Distraction-resistance
    92
    Pocketability
    80

    Found in

    • Light
  12. KP-012 from £169

    Refurbished iPhone SE (3rd gen)

    Apple, refurbished

    • Refurb
    • Smartphone

    If a smartphone is the answer, this is the smartphone. Refurbished from £169, with Apple Screen Time and the longest support tail on the market.

    Battery
    55
    Style
    70
    Distraction-resistance
    40
    Pocketability
    78

    Found in

    • Amazon Renewed UK
    • Back Market UK

Twelve is the whole list. We don't keep a longer one in a drawer. If a phone isn't here, we either haven't seen enough published reporting on it yet, or we read the coverage and felt we couldn't recommend it. The criteria are on our principles page.

How to read the stats

Battery is real-world battery, not the manufacturer's number. We score on the days a moderate user gets between charges. A 95 means a week-plus of standby. A 50 means once a day, like a smartphone.

Style is how the phone reads in the pocket and on the playground. It is a judgement based on three things: the design of the object, how a Year Six classroom reads it, and how a sixteen year old would react. A 95 is intentional, considered, holds its own. A 55 is functional and unremarkable.

Distraction-resistance is how hard the phone tries to keep you off it. A 98 has no apps, no browser, no app store, no notifications you didn't ask for. A 40 is a smartphone with Screen Time set to default.

Pocketability is weight, edge, and whether the phone slides into a school trouser pocket without sticking out. A 92 disappears. A 70 makes itself known.

If you'd like the full version

Every Phone-dex card links to a long-form individual review. The ranked list with the case for each phone is at /best-simple-phones. The ninety-second picker that matches one phone to your family is at /which-phone. The £24 to £400 pricing ladder is at /pricing. The SIM that goes with the phone is at /best-sims. The conversation that comes before the buying is at /switching-kit.

All twelve phones, ranked →

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